


Helpless

by 230W49thSt



Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: F/M, First Meeting, Fluff, M/M, Party, inspired by helpless (hamilton) and contains quotes, university!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 16:52:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9280727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/230W49thSt/pseuds/230W49thSt
Summary: Naba (excidetly) and Kevin (a bit unwillingly) go to a party hosted by fellow student and meet up with old and new friends. And then Kevin is helpless...





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I procrastinated working on my fanfic by writing another one in one setting. That was oddly refreshing.

I met you at a Tuesday Party of our university. If it wasn't for Nabulungi, one of my best friends, I wouldn't even have left the dorm on this evening.

As you know, Naba can be very pushy. She knew Arnold would be there and since I'm friends with him and she had a crush on him since, I don't know, forever, she needed me to be there, too. Moral support and wingman, probably.

"Come on, Kevin, please," she pleaded in my room. I was again – or let's be honest - I was still in my PJ’s because my lectures for that day had been cancelled and I hadn’t seen a point to leave the dorm at all. I had spent the last hours sitting on my bed and binge-watching 'Please Like Me'.

"It's gonna be fun. Some friends of mine will be there. They just moved here."

"You see," I said and put the laptop back on my lap, "you're not gonna be alone. It will be fine. And you know Arnold. You don't need me as some kind of link between you two."

With a glint in her eyes Naba sat down beside me. She was ready to bring in the big guns.

"You know that you're using my Netflix account, right? For free?"

I muttered something. I knew where this was about to lead and when Naba's face came closer I was already defeated.

"You owe me, big time," she whispered. "So come with me or I'll change the password."

Naba turned on some happy-go-lucky music from my iPod and made me shower and get dressed like a normal person. The party's theme (yeah, like in middle school) was _colors_. Her yellow dress was a strange contrast to my bright blue shirt (with a touch of mint, according to her) but I think we both pulled it off.

"Now you look like a decent human being, Kevin."

"I actually feel good," I said, surprised by my sudden change of mood, and did some awkward dance moves to the music that made Naba laugh. She's the sun of my life, I swear.

It was about 9pm when we arrived at the party house. Some theology student's parents were out of town so he hosted this week's party. It was only a twenty minute walk away from campus. Naba was right, it was a good thing to leave my bed. The fresh but also warm air of the summer's evening made me feel more alive than the warmth of a laptop.

Believe it or not, the party had already started when we got there. That's the good thing about Tuesday parties – they start actually quite early because they also end no later than 2am.

"Do you see him?" Naba asked when we entered the really huge living room full with people wearing colorful clothes. My eyes needed some moments to get used to this image.

"Not yet," I said and told her I'd text him. We found a less crowded spot next to a wall with a good view at the door.

"I love the theme," Naba said, "I think it's fresh. No one wears black for a change."

I nodded. "Yes, you're right." My eyes scanned the room. Not only for Arnold but, I don't know, for something else. A reason why going out on this day would be different than all the times before.

"Let's dance," Naba said and started to move to the music. She looked lovely in her dress. "Come on, Kev, don't be shy."

I made a grimace but started to move as well. Naba's the only one that can push me like this without hurting me. She tries not to make me overstep my boundaries but when she does, she's always with me.

The music was good. A mix of songs one can dance and sing along to.

Time passed and suddenly Naba made a high-pitched noise and waved towards the door.

"POPTARTS", she yelled and a blond guy caught her sight and smiled. I haven't seen him before so I figured it had to be one of the friends she had mentioned earlier. Weird nickname, that's what I thought. He wore a peach-colored shirt and looked very self-confident when he went over to us.

"I'm so glad you made it," Naba said and hugged him.

"For you always," he replied and kissed her forehead. I kind of knew he loved Naba the way I did and liked him immediately.

"This is Kevin, he's my partner in crime."

"Nice to finally meet you, I'm Chris but everyone calls me Poptarts." We shook hands.

"Likewise." I'm a bit shy when it comes to meeting new people since I noticed that I tend to give the impression of being arrogant when people don't know me.

Poptarts got us some drinks (Kool-aid for me, I'm super cool) and he and Naba had some catching-up to do. Apparently he had already finished university and tried to find a job in town, something technical. He and a friend – you - moved to town last weekend because it was hard to get a job in Upstate New York in the branch Poptarts was working in. I didn't engage much in the conversation but didn't feel left out either. I'm not good in getting the right first impression but with Poptarts I knew he was an honest and good guy.

The party went on and the stereo played a song called Helpless when I saw you for the first time.

You entered the room and looked around, not even looking for someone in particular but just to feel the atmosphere, I guess. Even from the distance I could feel the energy around you. You wore a white shirt and a dark blue blazer. It was a weird combination with your ginger hair and I could feel how you drew everyone's attention to you. I knew you didn't attend my university. I wouldn't have forgotten you if I'd ever seen you on campus.

Even though you didn't seem to know anybody around you, you took up the room. With a relaxed smile I watched you walking through the room to get a drink from the bar. You leaned against the wall on the opposite of the room, a red cup in your hand. Now I know you waited for Poptarts but in this moment it was like the world waited for you.

Like I had waited for you.

I couldn't stop watching you. I doubt you noticed me the way I noticed you. I didn’t even know what it was that I felt in this hour.

It was Arnold's arrival that distracted me from you, the ginger guy. Naba tried to be cool and so did Arnold.

"Hi Arnold, hi," Naba said with a bright smile. Arnold wore a purple-yellow shirt that oddly matched Naba's yellow dress.

"Hi Nabulungi," he replied and he was so nervous, it was obvious. I had asked him once why he barely used Nabulungi's nickname, Naba, and he told me how much he loved her real name. It had a polite and sweet ring to it whenever he said it.

"Your dress," he stammered and Poptarts had a hard time not to laugh, not to mock him but because the tension between Naba and Arnold was just so prominent that it was hard not to give them both a heavy nudge towards each other. We shared a look and I shrugged in way that said 'it's always like this'.

"Yeah?" Naba asked.

"You dress is beautiful," he managed to say. Naba smiled and chuckled.

"Thank you."

"Do you, do you like something to drink? Or to dance?"

At this point I opened my mouth in shock because that was a huge step for Arnold. He blushed and so did Naba, but she nodded – a bit too much than necessary.

"Yes!"

They didn't even say ‘see you later’ to us, they just eloped. Well, to the dancefloor.

Poptarts shook his head.

"So this was Arnold."

I nodded and grinned.

"Yup."

"Naba told me so much about him. Told me he's the funniest and cutest guy she had ever met."

"Oh, he is a great guy. Honest, nice, polite," I said. I had the feeling to defend my friend because people tend to overlook the real Arnold Cunningham when they first met him.

“Yeah, I can see that.”

Good guy Poptarts. I was relieved.

"What about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Relationship status?"

"I'm single."

"Single and ready to mingle?" Poptarts asked with a huge grin but I shook my head.

"Not sure about the mingle part. More like single and standing-in-the-corner-and-wait-for-something-to-happen." He got the hint that it wasn't a topic I'm comfortable with.

"A lot can happen in a corner," Poptarts added and clapped me sympathetically on my shoulder.

For a while we just stood next to each other and watched Naba and Arnold dance. Well, Poptarts watched them dance. My eyes were looking for the ginger guy again. For you. But you were gone. I was about to excuse myself to go looking for you – I'm pathetic, I know - when you walked in and my heart went...

... _boom_.

I was trying to catch your eye from the side of the room. Everybody was dancing and drinking and having a good time. You were talking to a blonde girl I haven't seen before. You seemed to know each other. You smiled at her but then your eyes were wandering around the crowd again like you still hadn't found the reason why you were here. In this moment I said to myself ' _this one's mine_ '.

I don't know how much time had passed when Poptarts gave me a nudge and said "That's my sister."

"What?" I looked at him, slightly confused.

"The girl you're looking at? The blonde one?"

"Oh, okay," I said eloquently. Sure, I've been looking at her as well since you seemed to have a very interesting conversation with her. I wasn't even jealous. I was just so afraid that I would mess up my chance to make you notice me. Now it sounds ridiculous because all I did was standing on the other side of the room, staring at you unobtrusively and hoping you'd look at me, even if it was just once. They say that people can only dream of people they'd seen in real life and I had this thought that maybe if you looked at me, I would end up in a dream of you and...gosh, that sounds so stupid.

Poptarts gave me a strange look.

I looked right back at him. I wanted to say something casual, anything, like "yeah, cool, you have a sister? What's her name?" and then turn the conversation to something like "and by the way, who's the guy she's talking to? Her boyfriend?" and then freak out, probably.

But my mind went blank. He looked over to his sister and you and then back to me. I did the same. I still don't know if Poptarts had superpowers or a very good knowledge of awkward human nature.

Without saying a word Poptarts made his way across the room to you and I got nervous, thinking 'what he's gonna do?'. He talked to both of you for a few minutes. The way you smiled at him told me that you and him had to be good friends. Very good friends. You looked at him the way I wanted you to look at me. Poptarts' sister left and joined Arnold and Naba on the dancefloor. Poptarts kept talking to you and you nodded. Then he grabbed you by the arm and I thought 'I'm through'. Then you looked back at me and suddenly I was helpless.

Poptarts and you walked through the crowd towards me.

_Oh, those blue eyes. I was drowning in them._

"Kevin, I want you to meet my best friend and roommate, Connor McKinley."

We shook hands. I introduced myself.

"Kevin Price, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Price?" you said and raised your eyebrows in surprise.

"Nabulungi's famous friend, yes," Poptarts said smiling.

"What a brave step to trade New York for our little town," I said.

"If it takes bad career opportunities on the East coast for us to meet, then it will have been worth it."

You winked and looked me in the eyes.

I heard Poptarts say "I'll leave you to it." Then he left us alone.

The rest is history.

We spent the rest of the night talking about everything. You got us drinks and found us a place to sit, first on the staircase, then outside in the garden on some very old garden furniture.

You didn't look somewhere else, like you did when you talked to Poptarts' sister. You looked at me, all the time. Like it was me you were looking for the whole evening, as pretentious it might sound. It still feels like a dream.

"Do you miss New York?" I asked you at one point.

"Well," you said as ran your hand through your hair and my heart skipped a beat, "I only just arrived a few days ago, so no, not yet." Your blue eyes fixed on mine. "I think this town is gorgeous."

Your tone of voice was so serious that I stopped breathing because my heart needed all the attention of my energy in this second.

"Yeah, it can be nice here," I managed to say, pretending I didn't interpret your comment as flirting. I was shy, I really was. Your presence was intimidating but in a good way. I wanted to know more about you. I wanted to know everything about you. The way you think, the way you see the world. Where your energy is from.

Our cups were empty and I struggled with myself if I should get new drinks. Somehow we were done with the casual conversation part that required holding a cup in the hand to give nervous hands something to do.

I checked all the possible conversation topics in my head. University, check, Tuesday Party tradition, check, job, check, friends, check, New York, check, what would we do with a million dollar, check.

"Naba said you're single?"

"Yes, she's right." I was very surprised that she had indeed talked about me to her friends, to you and Poptarts. At the same time I was also afraid what else she might have told you. How awkward I could be. How unsure about certain feelings in my life. You tried to hide a smile but I saw it nevertheless.

"Not a good town for dating?"

I shook my head. "Never tried it, to be honest." I felt like a loser. I could have lied but I didn't want to. I wanted you to know that this was very new to me, no matter what you thought about me.

"Because you're not into the concept of relationships?" you asked interested.

"Oh no, that's not what I meant. I would like to try it. I've just never found the right..." I paused. I guess I paused too long because you ended my sentence.

"Girl? Or...guy?"

I had never really discussed my sexual orientation, not even with Naba, that's why I hadn't finished my sentence before. I wasn't sure myself. It was all very vague in my head. But this evening had somehow confirmed what I was afraid to let myself feel – because I thought I might be wrong and I hate to be wrong about myself - until your question.

"Girl _or_ guy," I said and then my head went what-the-hell and added two words.

"Until tonight."

I fumbled around my empty cup and waited for a reaction. You were as calm as a lake at night when you put your cup on the ground and looked back at me.

"Kevin," you said, "would you…like to go on a date with me?"

You smiled at me because I nodded. I nodded because I forgot how to say yes. I forgot how to say yes because I was helpless.

_I looked into your eyes and the sky's the limit._

My cell phone interrupted the moment.

"Sorry," I said and read the message. "Oh. The others already left and gave up looking for us."

"What time is it?"

"1.45am. We should probably go."

We got up and turned towards the house. Some people inside were already cleaning the living room.

"Let's sneak out before I feel bad for not helping them," you said and I had to laugh. You grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the backdoor of the garden. Your touch was gently and I wondered how it would feel to hold your hand.

"Can I walk you home?" you asked when we stood on the sidewalk.

"Sure," I answered, "but it's twenty minutes from here."

"Which means twenty more minutes with you," you said smiling.

"I guess," I said and shrugged awkwardly.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"You don't! It's just...confusing that you...seem to like me, I guess." It was hard to admit this. It sounded like fishing for compliments even though it wasn't meant this way.

"Well, yes, I do like you," you simply said.

"I like you, too," I replied.

You made a joke that lightened the situation but I can't remember it anymore. I remember that I laughed and felt better afterwards. We walked next to each other in silence. Our shoulders brushed sometimes. A few minutes later our fingers touched slightly...and then it felt natural when your hand took mine. We didn't comment on it. Sometimes we looked at each other and smiled. And I wished the way home was longer.

"So, here we are, this is where I live," I said when we arrived in front of the dormitory.

"So soon," you said and we were both a bit awkward. "I don't even have your phone number." You took out your cell phone and handed it to me. "Do you mind?"

"Of course not." I typed in my number, saved it as a new contact and gave it back to you.

"I text you so you have my mine as well," you said.

I felt the buzz of the incoming message in my pocket. You looked at me and waited and I was busy thinking about not wanting this night to end.

"Could you please check the message?" you asked and for the first time I saw you flustered.

"Oh, okay." I got out my phone and opened the messenger.

 

[unknown number, 2:17am]

May I kiss you?

 

I looked up. My heart sent out a blast wave through my body and my hands went cold in a splinter of a second. Your blue eyes met mine.

_I'm down for the count and I'm drowning in them._

"Yes," I breathed.

You stepped closer, one hand gently on my shoulder, the other holding my hand.

And then you kissed me. Your lips pressed softly against mine and before I could realize that this was my first kiss ever, you had already withdrawn and smiled at me.

That was kissing? It felt--

"Was that your first kiss?" you asked me and your question made me blush.

"Yeah...was it that obvious?"

"Um, a bit. But it was okay," you added when you realized my embarrassment, "I mean for a first kiss." You winked, grabbed both of my hands and pulled me towards you.

"Thanks to you it wasn't _that_ awful, huh?" I asked and stuck out my tongue. You giggled. That was cute.

"First kisses are always a bit weird, awkward, unintentionally wet and leave the impression of too-many-lips."

"Wow, that's comforting, really, wow. Not that I ever had much self-esteem in that area but now there's actually a minus sign in front of it."

"Aww, come on," you said and put your arms around me. "I didn't mean to--."

"I was just kidding," I interrupted you and hugged you back. "I didn't want to boast with my kissing skills that’s why I held back. Obviously."

You kissed me on my cheek and giggled again.

"Ah, I understand. Thanks, that's really considerate. I appreciate it."

You stepped back but kept holding my hands. It was time to say good night. We were both smiling like fools.

And I was _helpless_.

 

_Kevin?_

_\- Yes?_

_So was I._

**Author's Note:**

> My friends on Twitter made me write a not-so-perfect-first-kiss. Thanks! (I guess?!)


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